Already got asked if we're dating
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
