Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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