He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So many bounce houses so little time
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
