you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
