apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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