Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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