At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize