Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
