So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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