Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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