At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
