the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
