we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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