I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
