Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
