I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize