Im at strip club and am horny
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
