It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My ATM looks so different sober.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize