That's intense
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
