Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
