Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
