i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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