he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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