I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
