Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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