I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
