he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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