my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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