I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
