Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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