walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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