i already hear my dad disowning me
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
