when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
