oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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