I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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