I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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