Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
