You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize