belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I AM VODKA MAN
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize