i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
