Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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