His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
