There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
