Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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