just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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