i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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