He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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