so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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