You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She bit a glass in half.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
