he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
