you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
