This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I puked a lego.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
