i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
