You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
