Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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