You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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