Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
