Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
