It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
