Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
