I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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