The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
