I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
