stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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